Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

🌿🌻Why are Meghan and Harry not treated like royalty in the United States anymore?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I can read

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

There's no way Republican Trump won all seven swing states. How was he able to cheat and steal the election?

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Why does my best friend call me ugly and act like she’s joking, but today she looked at me and said “I wouldn’t lie to you”? What should I say back to her?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

What do you think is the #1 cause of why relationships nowadays don't seem to last long?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

I can count

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

What are some questions obviously just asked for sexual gratification?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Are today’s baseball pitchers faster than a few years ago, or is it that radar guns have improved and get the pitch speed as it is released rather than as it reaches the plate?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Do you think that the Democratic Party of the USA is not fighting back against Trump? And if so, why do you think so?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Why are Americans obese? Is it the food or is it the psychology?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I see through liars

I actually pay taxes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand how hurricane paths work

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write